Hey guys, it's been a while. Mainly because I haven't had much to say about my stutter.. but that's changed in the last few months or so. Today I just kind of wanted to talk about how I have only shown this blog to one friend of mine. Nobody else, and no members of my family. It's not that I only trust one person, I have other close friends who I share a lot with. I think perhaps its because I'm ashamed? Maybe I don't want people to see this side of me, to see my inner-thoughts? I mean truth be told I am the emotional equivalent to Mr. Meursault in "The Outsider" (aka "The Stranger"). OK, that's an exaggeration but I'm not expressive with my emotions, especially those surrounding my stutter.
Is it just being ashamed or that I don't want to let others in? I would be interested to hear if any of you have the same feelings that I do. Have you ever gone and found an article or video about stuttering and told someone close to you?
Do you tell people about how stuttering is? I have only had a handful of people ever ask me an intimate question about stuttering in my life. It is kind of sad. I know it must seem to them like the elephant in the room, but I'm pretty sure they find it curious.
There seems to be this social enigma that if somebody is out of the ordinary that we shouldn't talk to them, or see how it affects their lives. I'm guilty of it too. Maybe things would be better if people stopped being sensitive about things that are construed to be not normal.
How do I fix this problem? Do I post this blog on my facebook? I'm not sure I would be comfortable with that. I'd probably just get really neurotic and see how many likes and comments it has. I'm rambling now, and it is almost 4am but I'm sure someone understood what I wrote.
Until next time...
