Ever have those moments where you just think to yourself; "please God... just this once!" I seem to be having them a lot regularly nowadays... One of those moments is when I step on the bus and have to ask for a return ticket. Now picture this scenario:
The bus rolls up, there's a queue of people behind you all racing to get on the bus. The majority of those waiting already have bus passes, they just stroll pass... you're up next. You know what you're going to say!
"City return ticket. City return ticket. City return ticket. City return ticket."
You go up, feel the block.. and there it is again. Pressure builds up! Unsure of what the people behind are thinking of you as you convince yourself that you're holding everyone up, when in fact you're not really... So what happens?
"City please."
That's right, no return bit... This may seem kind of minimal but two single tickets cost 4 pounds, (that's about eight dollars, crazy.. I know) whereas a return costs 3 pounds (six dollars). So I end up spending that extra pound more merely because I can't (don't want to) say the flipping return part!
Now I'm sure many of you are wondering why I don't just word substitute? I tried that once... Got two single tickets, and naturally my friends found that amusing.
*sighs*
Seems really quite silly that I do this often; pay that extra pound more just to avoid the pressure that I, myself, build. I've probably lost quite a bit in the long run, and sadly this isn't the only scenario.
Next year... I'm getting myself a bus pass!
3 comments:
Hey,
Good to see another fellow stutterer start a blog! Yeah, I've had loads of those days, I remember when I was young, I'd sometimes walk back from school because I was too afraid to go in the bus, living under the fear that I'd stutter, which I most definitely would have, but that doesn't scare me anymore. I became more reliant on my friends traveling along with me, I'd expect them to ask for the ticket, or direct the driver to take us to the place. This way I made friends with one driver, since he knew I stuttered and where I wanted to go, I'd always look for him in the morning whenever I'd miss my bus. But, now I'm more confident, nonetheless I still do get scared of such situations, only difference is now I avoid backing down.
Ya, it really does seem silly how much effort we will go through to avoid everyday situations doesn't it! I try my best not to avoid out of a situation or something I want to say but I inevitably do... I find that I do it more nowadays than when I was younger though.
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