Sunday, 25 May 2008

Introductory kind of thing?

How does someone start one of these things off anyhow? Well anyway, I have been stuttering for as long as I remember. There was no significant event that started it, it just started. I don't really know when exactly it started. I know I've asked my parents but they gave me a wishy washy answer and it, surprisingly, didn't really concern me too much. I mean, afterall, I stutter - how will knowing when exactly it started help?

Since I can remember I have participated in numerous therapies, some with scientific logic behind them, others with spiritual faith behind them. From the logical to the lunical. What I can categorically say about all of them is I pretty much hated all of them, most probably because of the tediousness of them. However, there was one that actually showed a noteable improvement (Del Ferro Method), I'll probably talk about that experience later on...

I have been in over a dozen of different schools due to my family relocating, have had to introduce myself countless times. And it is this that amazes me, WHY is it so damn hard to say your own fricking name!? Something I have experienced more and more in my first year of University...

*class begins*
Teacher: Alright, so how about we go around the room and all introduce ourselves?
Me: *panics*
*students introduce themselves in a calm, boring fashion*
Me: *thinks to himself* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*student before me finishes his introduction, all eyes on me*
Me: M-m-m *pauses* My name's M-mike and I................
*finish introduction and let my heart rate fall to a normal amount*

This is one of my most terrifying experiences at university so far. When I'm talking to people in person it's not as bad. Seeing as I've introduced myself to a stupid amount of people since I've been here, mainly because I've had to, I sometimes even manage to say my name without a stutter!

So why the blog? Well, I never really paid much attention to my stutter, mostly thanks to my family, until my teenage years where it began to frustrate and bother me. Or at least that's when I can really remember it troubling me. However, since it started troubling me it's just grown and grown and I've recently started browsing the internet and stumbled upon numerous interesting blogs of people who stutter and figured why not tell people of all my tales? Even if this makes me a bit of a hypocrite as I swore a while back I would never have a blog, but I feel this blog has more of a point than just being a diary... Time will tell I guess! Sooo! This is basically a blog to show the mindset and emotional insights of someone who stutters...

Oh, apologies for the run-ons, fragments etc... I'm not perfect.


Law Student said...

In college, it was a nightmare! Every new class, we had to go around the room and introduce ourself and then say something about ourself. Gah! My palms would go sweaty, I'd hear myself messing it up in my head over and over. I'd think, "Oh, this time I won't be able to get it out!" It was horrible. Usually it went fine, but the anticipation was unbearable!

Olivier said...

Hello Mike,

I see your blog on TheStutteringBrain. I will follow it with interest.

Randzig said...

Love the first post. Exactly my experience too. I used to always think, "no really I'm not that interesting. I don't need to tell you what I do for fun..."
Will follow your story.